Alrighty folks.  This one came from this week’s Exegete.

Appropriate music to listen in the background: True Blood Sountrack, London Calling, or the Tallis Scholars.

Appropriate accent to affect in head while reading: Generic Southern.

This, on St. Paul’s commentary to the church at Corinth, concerning whether or not to eat meat sacrificed to other gods… (1 Corinthians 8:1-13)

Once upon a time there was a Voodoo Chicken.  It was known as Voodoo Chicken because it was used in a vaudun ritual, but you know, it was also marinated afterwards in the most mouthwatering fashion.  And you know, a dinner party is a dinner party.  You can’t fault your host for their odd taste in religious piety when they serve mouthwateringly good roasted chicken.  Some of us like to say a little, unobtrusive blessing over our food, but to each their own, right?  And since we all know (in our separate religions) that ours is the only right one, there’s no harm in letting other people attempt to invoke a god that doesn’t actually exist, so live and let live. And pass the chicken.

This is all well and good when you’re surrounded by people who are firm in their faith, whatever that faith may be.  The Vauduns know that eating the Voodoo Chicken will bring them closer to fine, and the Christians know that the Vauduns really know how to roast a chicken or twelve, and that their own understanding of God requires neither chicken nor lack of chicken for Divine Union.

However, it all goes to hell in a hand basket but quick when you’ve got newbies in your midst.  Newbies get a little rabid, you know, and they’re really clear about wanting to get things Perfectly Correct and Appropriate.  It really hits the fan when your newbie is their oldie.  Then you’ve got someone looking at your enjoyment of the damn chicken (whose not actually damned, just damned inconvenient) and their knee jerk reaction is that you’re getting a little closer to fine, when it’s really just the seasonings.  Now, these newbies know it’s not Divine Union, because our God doesn’t go in for Chicken.  This is about the time that the confusion and resentment sets in.  Perhaps there’s even some serious doubt about the bigger things of life – they are newbies, remember.

So, you know. Practice discretion.  Not because there’s anything wrong with the Om Nommy goodness of the Vaudun’s chicken dinners, but because in the long run, is your gastronomical satisfaction really worth causing that much angst amongst the newbies? Give the Voodoo Chicken a pass while they’re in the room, for heaven’s sake.   You can always have some next week.

Marzipan Whale by Alex Bruda

And the whale goes 'om, nom, nom'

I love Jonah!  Somedays, when I’m feeling awfully cranky, I think I am Jonah.  The fact that Jonah never actually existed is completely moot because he’s a perfect archetype for the outraged believer, a pair of shoes that can fit all of us on one day or another if we’re not ever-so-careful.  Can you hear it?  I can… (more…)

Arkham Horror

Tentacles are something of a theme...

What in blue blazes is this Arkham Horror thing?  You’ve heard about it on the barnraiser’s calendar, or seen it around and it evokes images of Batman and Prostitution.  Understandable, though off base.  Well, truth be told, it’s a slightly addicting board game with a lot of little pieces.  Everybody wins or loses together and dice is involved.  Reading all of the instructions involved counts as a solid check mark for your Summer Reading List, and understanding the mythos behind the game could either freak you out or qualify you for a really fab conversation with your pastor next Sunday regarding the struggle of good vs. evil in the hearts and minds of all humanity.

So, the game is based on a book and a heap of short stories that aren’t a series but certainly are all written in the same Universe/Mythos by the same author, who is H.P. Lovecraft.  (Heard of him?  Not heard of him but vaguely reminded of tentacle monsters, somehow?  Fantastic, you’re on the right track.)  Lovecraft wrote earlier in the last century all along a theme, or a basic assumption, and that assumption is this:  what if when poets and authors and musicians and actors and lovers got in touch with their inspiration, what they were actually touching on the other side of the veil produced… madness?  What if when mystics and spiritualists were able to look directly beyond the veil what they saw drove them mad?

Lovecraft, a rather depressed man (among other things), wrote as a response to what he understood to be baseless Christian Humanism, and this is possibly one of the reasons I love reading his work.  I like to get the full picture, so to speak, and my religious nay-sayers have got nothing on tentacle monsters from beyond the veil who if I’m lucky, will devour me last.  (The tentacle monsters, not the religious nay-sayers.  Just to be clear.)

And so I have fun rolling dice and killing monsters while lulling the unkillable Big Bad back to sleep, even while I think about what evil really means in the world, what grace means, what it does to a life to concentrate on peace, love, and joy rather than suffering, unhappiness, and the distance from others caused by resentment, anger and hatred.  And if you like, you can join me.  We play at 8pm on the third Wednesday of the month at Ol’ Wondermoth, 208 North St, 14201.  Beginners are welcome. :)

This isn’t a rhetorical question, nor is it a desire for the USA to become a one-religion state.  That’s just silly talk.  But I hear a lot of discourse, and most of it conservative, and it bemoans and bewails the fact that the USA was supposed to be a Christian nation (one nation under God, etc, etc), and now they’re not letting us pray in schools or display the 10 commandments in the courthouse.  Intentions of the founding fathers aside for a moment (you might be amused to hear about Jefferson’s personal theology, not to mention his reader’s digest version of the bible, but that’s another blogpost for another day), I’d like to posit an interesting juxtaposition for your consideration, care of the calendar and the makers of the Revised Common Lectionary. (more…)

An Introduction

So, I was making the morning coffee in that bleary-eyed way one does, thinking about making breakfast with one of my housemates whereupon I spied a bright green tri-fold brochure which heralded “Discordianism: The Un-Religion”.  My curiosity was piqued…

Anarchy

One of my housemates is an Anarchist.  I can tell you that his name is Henri because his name isn’t actually Henri.  We didn’t get along very well at first, Henri and I.  This, I think, is because I would periodically show up looking like a cleric, and he had a tendency to be rather loud and just as angry, which puts me off my tofu.  Well, he’s mellowed and I’ve started speaking, and we found out that we have a metric fuck-tonne in common in the basic principles on which we structure our lives. (more…)

So, we were discussing this at our sermon group this morning.  On the one hand you have Jesus saying that The Most Important Thing Ever (the Summary of the Law, it is called in some circles) is A) Love God with everything in you and B) Love your Neighbor as Yourself.  All of his ministry and most of his teachings that are told of in the four canonical gospels support this and the ones that don’t are suspected by many biblical scholars to be later additions and edits by his well-meaning but utterly clueless and totally unhelpful students.  Okay.  Nifty.  Very clear.  Love-Love-Love.  It’s a reeeeally easy doctrine to remember.  Less easy to live out, but not a whole lot of memorization required.

But you know, all throughout the four canonical gospels, over and over again, his students ranged from Not Getting It to Seriously Misunderstanding with exceptionally brief intervals of seemingly divine epiphany in which they Sort Of Understood, A Little.  Pentecost notwithstanding, I don’t think much changed with their understanding of his message after the Roman Empire executed him.  What makes me say this? (more…)

Service.  Not as in ‘church service’.  More like as in ‘servant’.  I’ll not be washing anyone’s feet tonight.  I’ll not be stripping the altar of a church, though I’ll be stripping my own small personal altar in my bedroom.  Earlier today I renewed my ordination vows along with my colleagues.  But what I will be doing this evening, from roughly four in the afternoon (about an hour from now) until nearly nine in the evening, I’ll cook for my twelve housemates.  Not all of them will show up for dinner, I know that in advance, but I cook for all twelve nonetheless, as I make up plates for those who are missing, and ensure some leftovers for those who are not fasting tomorrow (that would be everyone but myself–this is not a religiously based cooperative living outfit I’m a part of).

And so, as I realized my faux pas during communion earlier today (oops, I signed up to cook on Maundy Thursday), I thought, ‘yeah, this is kinda like footwashing.’

And here’s why.  I live in a commune.  We do things for each other because we recognize that our common lives are inextricably linked.  One of the things we do for each other is cook dinner.  Six meals a week are cooked by someone in the house and we are on roughly a two week schedule.  So, yes, I only have to cook dinner once a fortnight.  That’s the exciting part.  And nearly every day I can come home from work just in time for the dinner gong to ring at seven in the evening, and I can sit down with a group of wonderful people and eat tasty, nutritious, filling food that was made from scratch from mostly locally produced organic ingredients.  There is no bad, here.  And then when ever it is we are done, we wash our individual dishes and leave.

That was the part that stymied me when I first was introduced to the House.  The cook doesn’t want help cleaning up, and when it’s your turn, you’re not going to get help cleaning up unless you specifically ask for it, and then it’s more like asking a favor.  Why?  Well, partly it’s tradition.  And partly, it’s the service we perform for our friends and guests as a part of honoring our common life together.  No one is too good to cook, and no one can get out of it by performing other, say administrative chores.

A little like washing the feet of your guests and friends.

A reviewer and new friend recently asked me the question that she apparently likes to ask all of the religious elders she comes in contact with.  ”What about when God answers your prayer with a ‘No’?”  She noted that she has largely gotten unsatisfactory answers to this question, including priests and pastors who dance around the subject.

I didn’t dance, but I really could have used a large white board and several different colors of markers.  Some of you who know me well won’t be surprised in that.

So, I thought I would blog the answer I gave her, only slightly edited for clarity.  Buckle your safety belts, my friends, and keep your hands and heads inside the windows at all times.  This may not be your grandmother’s theology…

(more…)

You know, not only is the Monday Morning Exegete dead useful and chockful of research and insight, it’s also awfully pretty.  After doing it for a month, I’m no less excited every Monday when I sit down and roll up my sleeves.  Go figure–I might be a church geek.  Anyway, I wanted to share some of the pretty with you.

Issue 1, Volume 1The Monday Morning Exegete Presents 8th Sunday of Epiphany, Cover

This was my first effort as a monday morning exegete and was for the penultimate Sunday of Epiphany.  This first time it took me an entire week to produce, but now that I’ve got the kinks out of the system I can do it in one very full day.

One of the main themes of this issue was taken from the portion of Isaiah assigned to that Sunday, “See, I have you inscribed on the palms of my hands,” God says of his people, and he said this by way of saying that he would never, not ever, not slightly or even a little bit forget us.  God with his love tattooed, or if you prefer, etched, on his hands… that’s kind of a compelling image, don’t you think?  And so I found pictures – a woman with Henna on her fingers to make her hands more beautiful, someone with ‘Sweden Forever’ tattooed on their arm to proclaim a lifelong devotion, and Boston’s Holocaust Memorial which includes among other things, the following: “My number is 174517.  I will carry the tattoo on my left arm until I die.”  Tattoos… clearly they are used for all sorts of different things.

The wordstudy of this issue is ‘oligopistos’, meaning ‘of little faith’ in Greek.  I chose this word because the collect (prayer) for the day directly connects fear with faithlessness: “Protect us from faithless fears and worldly anxieties…” Isaiah is all about God’s refusal to forget us, the Psalm is about resting in God, the Epistle about being in this deep and trustworthy relationship with God, and the Gospel is about choosing God or choosing worldly fears and wealth which seems to hinge on faith, or lack thereof.  Curious?

(more…)

So, what is all of this exegetical nonsense, anyway?  If you’ve been following along on Twitter and you’re not a #chuchgeek yourself, it’s probably just a word your eyes have glossed over.  Or, if you’re my sister Rose, it’s a word you’ve gone and looked up.  (Bless her heart, she’s very supportive of me.)

The Monday Morning Exegete Presents: Lent 3

So, exegesis is an in depth study and interpretation of a text, especially the bible.  An exegete is one who does exegesis.  When I started this weekly endeavor–me spending all day on Monday doing exegesis on the following Sunday’s readings and then making it super duper pretty and sending it out to people who have a paid subscription–I was chatting with my friend and colleague Phil.  He pointed out that I had an unfair advantage in the production of such a thing, as I went to a seminary that actually required of its students not one exegesis, but many.  (And oh, how we bitched.  But we did it anyway.)  It’s true.  My seminary, Virginia Theological Seminary, has many faults ::cough::liturgy::cough:: but let me tell you, biblical studies isn’t one of them.

So, I’m doing this thing.  I’m calling it The Monday Morning Exegete, for perhaps some obvious reasons.  It’s for normal people who find the Bible scary, daunting, out of date, or just plain confusing.  It’s for parishes who want reasonably researched and insightful blurbs for their weekly newsletters.  It’s for preachers who have never preached on this passage before, or who have already preached on it four times.  It’s a jumping off point for conversation groups–the ones at the coffee shop, or the ones in your head.

It’s $20/month, but if you’re interested, drop me a line and I’ll set you up for a month for free and you can check it out yourself.  And just because I love you, and I’m not above shameless self-promotion, here’s this week’s Monday Morning Exegete.

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