Reclaiming a balance

Today was an odd day, completly asside from the holiday aspect. I spent way too many hours last night and into the much later hours of the morning reading fic, and with the exception three of inell’s Hr/V fic at the very end to cleanse my brain, I spent hours reading semi-dark rather angsty but very well written fic.

I try to avoid semi-dark/dark fic. It’s not that semi-dark doesn’t occur in RL, but there is enough semi-dark in my own life for fodder for my writing, I try not to invite it in without due cause. But there I was, hooked by the plot, continuing on hour after hour (if there was any question about the addictive tendencies, put them to rest), reasoning that I didn’t have to get up the next day so that fact alone made it okay, but having something inside me slowly twist. It’s palpable, and I can feel it.

So I spent the day – what bit of the day I wasn’t in bed – watching season two MacGyver and having minor theological epiphanies and theophanies that I then had great difficulty in remembering. And every time I tried to talk with my muses about what was happening next or further down the line in my own story series, I would get a crazy mishmosh of my story line and this semi-dark one, that i have clearly internalized to a degree that was avoidable, predictable, and now very unfortunate.

I really hate when this happens.

I think i need to pray.

::wry grin:: How does that prayer go? Something about thank you, too, for the failures and disappointments of this life that lead us to acknowledge our dependence on you alone… Something like that.

Balance. It’s a beautiful thing.

I think I’m going to go take a shower and ask Hermione what on earth she was thinking when she said all those nasty things about Viktor in the library right before the first trial. ::smiles::

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